FEDS TO STUDY CANYON WEATHER

(Sapinero, CO – Nov 28, 2014) The United States government, located somewhere on the East Coast of North America, has announced that it will drop upwards to $750,000 to determine the causes of shifting weather patterns and odd climatic behavior in Blue Creek Canyon near here.
The canyon, dubbed Refrigerator Canyon due to extreme winter temperatures often lurking there, receives very little sunshine for most of the year, compared to surrounding hills and mesas. Often the canyon floor is extremely icy while other adjacent roadways are clear and dry.
The study represents the first time the Department of the Inferior and the Colorado Division of Transportation have cooperated on a project of this enormity. It comes in response to growing complaints by motorists, skiers, hunters and people who never leave the relative safety of their homes.
Prioritized questions include: Why has the sun deserted this beautiful stretch of highway? Where does ice come from? What government agency is most likely to take responsibility for guardrails, wildlife incursions, rockslides, slow moving traffic, and the incompetent actions of other motorists?
Already employees of both entities have wasted valuable time driving for coffee breaks in Gunnison and Montrose, two communities roughly 35 miles away in each direction.
A kickoff field trip has been scheduled to Cochetopa Canyon to examine and compare the two spots for possible clues. Back in 1998 the Department of the Interior, disguised as the BLM, conducted a month-long mission to determine why water collects in Blue Mesa Reservoir and not in the high country that surrounds it. Despite spending an undisclosed sum, the results of the test were inconclusive. – Tammy Tomichi

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