FACEBOOK FACED WITH COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS

(El Lay) Facebook, the popular social media mogul, is facing a series of lawsuits over copyright violations centering around the word friend. For years the computer-driven communications power has employed the word friend to categorize and define certain status on its pages. But now citizen and government groups are protesting.

“The concept of friend should not be tarnished by generic use in this manner,” said an attorney for one group calling itself Friends of Friends. A real friendship is not something one can gain by jerking around with a computer. It is real and from the heart.”

Another group, angry at what it says is “just another impersonal corporate scheme” plans to boycott Facebook, which it says is stupid to begin with, and offers no real social exchange or productive results.

“Do people sit around all day making love to their laptops? asked Slim Tinkleholland, a recovering Facebook junkie. “Friendship is sacred and we should not allow these companies to intrude in the very fiber of our existence, our very humanness. It’s all we have to separate us from the mess that goes on at knee level all around us. Before you know it these haughty cyber coyotes will be in bed with us all, for a price mind you.

“We must learn to stop being sheep and stand up for what is good and honest. Abuses of this type cannot be tolerated in a free society,” said Tinkleholland.

Leading antagonists seek to force Facebook to use terms such as acquaintance or congenial or significant other instead of friend in their cordial regimentation. – Fred Zeppelin