Dinosaur Bones Found in Tavern Sink

(Special from The Crested Butte Fossil and Relic – February , 2016)

The skeleton of what scientists believe to be a dwarf stegosaurus was found in a back-up bar sink by patrons searching for large martini olives here yesterday. The mysterious bones, excavated at the now extinct Frank and Gal’s, have been called one of the most important archeological finds by paleontologists since the discovery of a giant spinal column of a rare Dark Canyon Brontosaurus at the Toke of the Town Tavern in May.

On-site Triassic experts, many of them dinosaurs in their own right, are on loan from the Rocky Mountain Marmot and Wildflower Institute at Gothic.

The bones are considered to be an essential and intrinsic piece in the genetic jigsaw puzzle that could someday determine the validity of leading theories on human evolution. Luckily the newest dinosaur carcass was safely removed from the sink by and delivered to a safe research lab at Western State Colorado University.

Attempts by this newspaper to interview customers at the bar failed since patrons were engrossed in a Broncos’ game and did not notice the detour from the normal routine.
– Fred Zeppelin

 “The big loser (in the recent GOP “debate”) was participatory democracy all the way back through history to Pericles…I have heard more coherent dialogue from cats mating in an alley.”  –  Charles Pierce, Esquire Magazine.