Congress Will Work For Free Beginning in 2017

(DuPont Circle — Brahmans for Breakfast — March   2016)

Agreeing that “we’ve have had it easy time of it” here in the United States of America, Congress today voted unanimously to forgo paychecks and other benefits and spoils attached the office.

In addition to a ridiculously inflated salary the elected officials would terminate lifelong health insurance and pensions.

“It’s about time we privileged few give back to the needy in our country,” said Oral Noise (Unitarian-CA). “I could think of some great places for the money to go. Head Start, school lunches for poor kids and general education come screeching to mind.”
The majority of Senators agreed to drop the name Honorable from their titles since most do not exhibit that quality.

“We were already rich when we got elected. We don’t need the money or the entitlements long associated with the job,” said Erma Oil, who has served in the House for 115 years.

On the heels of the announcement new chatter has emerged suggesting that the governing body simply disband.

“Think of the money we’d save if we didn’t exist at all.” said Noise. “Let the states and local governments make their own decisions and see where that gets us. I can pretty much guarantee we wouldn’t be bombing other countries,” he winced.

No further discussion on the subject is slated although a committee has been formed to study ways to cripple the lobbyist culture that has permeated bad air in Washington since 1782.

– Daddy Long-Legges