Clown strike threatens very social fabric of the nation.

Although unreported in the mainstream media the bitter clown strike has reached another plateau at 2 months without laughter, a cheap bit, a slapstick fall, even a smile. Clowns all over the Western Hemisphere and in Grand Junction walked off their jobs back 61 days ago, seemingly unnoticed by of the woolgathering public.

The clowns have released a list of grievances against humanity all of them the condemning the anger and sadness permeating the globe. They are currently holding an abandoned warehouse complex in the bad part of town where a coquette government has been inhabited by strikers with giant feet, red noses and flowers that squirt water at people.

“This comes at a bad time for humor on the planet,” said a grease-faced youth named Zippy. “People don’t always need money, or cars or bombs or breakfast linen but they damn sure need clowns.”

The power void left by the baggy-panted comics ripples forced smiles at a time where we need loud laughter. Scabs are expected to be employed by early next week if the various parties do not come to some agreement. One major stumbling block appears to be the defunding of Jester State, the once prestigious college that has been training clowns since the Depression. The feds say the school is no longer accredited and has therefore forfeit its fiscal support.

The clowns say the school is valid if only for the affect on children and dreamers. They say the nation will suffer without them.

“Who will set laughter in motion? Who will take the funny fall from the tightrope into the net? Who will run from the rogue elephant? Who will smile at just the right time to let the kids in row one know everything is really all right?” asked one orange-haired bumbler.

Both sides expressed concern that nobody will be laughing up his sleeve if the conflict goes to the Supreme Quart. They agree that the damage has been done and that a whole lot of hugs will be needed to set things straight again.

– Betsy Guffaw