THOR, ODIN IN TOWN TO UNDRESS WIND, DROP LINE

(Gunnison) Norse gods, Thor and Odin, were in town over the weekend as guests of the local volunteer fire department. While visiting they are expected to bring much needed relief from seasonably high winds, which threaten to drive the population here to the brink of insanity.

“Thor is the god of thunder,” said one fireman, “so we figured he might have some pull with the wind. He’s also quite a fisherman.”

In honor of the visit, the department, at the request of both gods, will run its sirens at increased intervals all weekend.

Odin, the supreme deity, whose accolades include a sketchy creator of the cosmos and man, god of wisdom, art, war, culture and the dead, will also be on hand. It is hoped that he can calm the wind to lessen the chances of brush fires and wind-driven madness on the part of livestock.

Sometime during the sojourn the two will be joined by the often rambunctious Neptune, who is hauling his ponga boat, Valhalla, up from Colorado Springs. Joining the trio as premier bush pilot/fishing guide will be the late Don Woodbury, who many surmise has already reached minor deity status in the Great Beyond.