Thursday is Bubblehead Night in Congress

(Washington) Citizens in good standing are invited to the First Annual Congressional Bubblehead Night at the Reflecting Pool here. The first 5000 persons through the “doors”, after passing through security and taking an extensive loyalty oath, will receive an authentic bubblehead of their favorite elected official.

Persons who do not have a favorite elected official will receive a 2016 Joe Biden or John Boehner bubblehead as a consolation prize compliments of the Federal Reserve Board. A buffet meal and open bar will grace the festive atmosphere and guests are reminded to avoid bringing up issues that might be deemed embarrassing to the legislators, aka bubbleheads.

In addition to bobbing senators and representatives, each attendee will take home a quart of Fear in a Bottle, a newly brewed genetically altered concoction aimed at keeping the people off balance and ultimately exerting more control of the domestic population. Tested in the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, and the War on Individualism, the fluid fear card has been produced for human consumption (food) by those radicalized by the sequester and by the royal arrogance of rich, elite politicians.

“People will like it,” explained one Congressional aide. “It comes in six different fruity flavors (including fresh hemlock lite) and is the right panacea for an electorate who put these people in power in the first place. “Here in the Land of the Free it is one of the few things that is free.”

It is hoped that the circulation of bubbleheads and liquid fear will further divide and conquer the left and the right in this nation, who, if allowed to determine the real enemy, might react in unison to affect real change.

The event is in no way connected to the popular Send a Whoopee Cushion to Congress which originated after the banking scandals of 2007-2009 which are still “under full investigation” until the public forgets about them.

– Susie Compost

“Fashion fades. Only style remains.”
– Coco Chanel