Economy Mostly Cloudy

(North America  —  Any Day Now News  —  November 13,  2016)

Financial skies were mostly cloudy over most of the nation as markets closed today. Scattered insufficient funds hung over parts of the South while drizzling interest rates collided with thunderous inflationary fronts moving in from the East.

Cooler investments and high-pressure stock options continue to plague investors in the Rockies while high winds and showers are likely on Wall Street through the weekend. A cold front will push across the Midwest linking up with an upswing in retail sales and new housing starts. Creeping inflation will continue to gnaw away at the water table. Despite all precautions taken by the benevolent brotherhood of banking industry consumers can expect to get soaked.

Meanwhile the indoor climate will remain constant with a persistent dry recovery rumored by spring run-off, when disturbances, punctuated by torrential tremors and blinding light, will increase to epic proportions. Highs today would hover and dip then jolt and bolt on the American and New York stock exchanges. Elevations above and below 11,000 feet will not be affected.

Across the central third of the nation it will remain flat, overcast, hot and humid with pockets of riveting boredom and frightening political conclusions. Out West, an imbalance will surface due to a low-pressure front arriving on the next day’s business.

Supply-side global warming has killed the philodendrons in the secret meeting vault and has depleted the snowpack reserves from our last fiscal year. Six-packs of northerly moisture from Canada are expected to alleviate that mini-crisis by the middle of the eek.

Bold face quotations include: “Tie down the horses – It’s a twister!” and “Only fools and tourists try to predict stock index futures.”
– Wendy Whether-Spoon