National Clown Retreat Dismissed

(Foggy Bottom Red Nose Review July  28, 2016)

The 15th Annual American Clown Convention was banned from meeting inside the confines of the District of Columbia last evening. Citing a “seriously disruptive element of chaos and anarchy”, presiding Judge Emmet “Blinky” Kelley ruled that the clowns and their entourage must leave town in 24 hours of face arrest.

A spokesperson for the clowns said she blamed the decades of political shenanigans that have left the electorate and the civil powers with a bad taste in their collective mouths.

“These Presidential contenders and pretenders have blatantly attempted to compete with us for the attention of the dumbed-down American public,” said one radical clown, his grease paint dripping down his cheeks. “We’ll be back. This city has more clowns per capita than anywhere on the planet and we want to be a part of the action.”

The clowns were loaded onto buses this morning and driven to points in Maryland and Virginia where they will be encouraged to mix with the local citizenry.

– Gabby Haze