Television Networks Seek Vampires

(New Jork) Global television networks are seeking vampires to cover violent stories that occur throughout the world it was disclosed today. The television bosses reportedly are convinced that serious blood suckers would do the best job bringing the reality of violence into the homes of millions.

The announcement has already generated a mass response on the part of the general vampire population, a group that has historically been plagued by job discrimination and underemployment due in part to alleged skin conditions and preferred hours of circulation.

“All one has to do is observe the behavior of these pathetic TV scribes, these mental pygmies determined to get to the source of the news with no concern for the human feelings of the victims to see why vampires are now ascending the ladder of success in mega media,” said a Manhattan head hunter, herself a recovering vampire.

Rest assured that employment opportunities herein will be based on merit however I suggest

showing up for the interview early with portfolio in order…and wear something black.”