US Musicians Orchestrated Cairo Coup Says Ex-Drummer

Sons of Sinai in Egypt in 2012

(Alexandria) Musical unknowns may have orchestrated the military coup in Egypt which brought down the democratically elected government of Mohammed Morsi and the Muslim brotherhood. According to a drummer who used to play with the Sons of Sinai, a rock band, members of the group were highly instrumental in the actions that changed the leadership here in early July.

Although the United States denied direct manipulation in the events that led to the military takeover, it shared no denial or hastily concocted comment on the alleged seizure of power.

Dubbed Operation Musical Chairs by cynics here and in Washington, the effort has been downplayed with the primary security and diplomatic agencies disavowing any knowledge of the action. Most say that if synthesization occurred, it was without their consent.

“None of these developments followed the normal chain of command,” said a former bass player now overseeing CIA high notes in the Mideast. “It was not our perception that aggressive means like these had been implemented.”

The often unreliable source spoke under the conditions of anonymity due to roll playing and secretive meanderings about the Capitol. He assured reporters that his office would begin to get down to the truth of this matter “someday soon”.

“We don’t want people going around thinking the United States is intentionally intruding into the business of another sovereign nation,” said the shadow mouthpiece. “I cannot say any more at this time. If the puppet masters knew I was talking to the media I could lose my head and endanger my family.”

The drummer in question who first blew the whistle on the whole mess has not been seen or heard from since he first came out with the initial accusations. He is believed to be safe and in the custody of the Justice Department at an unidentified penal installation out of the country.  According to sketchy details released by his attorney he (the drummer) played with the alleged musician conspirators for only a few gigs “and would have had no knowledge of any clandestine activities of the other band members.”

It is not known how long he will be held in protective custody.

“Everyone knows drummers can’t be trusted, not with vital information, not with money and certainly not with the girlfriends or wives of the others in the band,” said Eva Holesumme, a former lead singer with the Sons of Sinai.

Considering the millions in foreign aid given to the army (and certainly not to the people) it could be easily argued that the US might have had the power to encourage or discourage a takeover by the military. Many political watchdogs on both the Potomac and the Nile conclude that it would be implausible to think the Americans had no influence with the ruling generals. The longtime fiscal balancing act all but dictates that the Egyptian armed services would be called on to pay an outstanding debt someday.

“If one entity pays another entity that kind of money the receiving entity is liable and, logically speaking, might likely be controlled or predisposed by those purse strings,” said Omar Silte, of the Fairness to Egypt League, headquartered in Washington. “One reality is clear enough: The Egyptian military did not act contrary to US interests and thus jeopardize its payday. The refusal to use the word coup is only a gov’ment sidestep to insure the bucks keep rolling into the army’s coffers.”

Both Holesumme and Silte, himself a gifted percussionist, recently disappeared while walking their dogmas near the White House over the weekend. Police called the two incidents “unrelated and probably the result of petty crime or the unseasonably hot weather”.

Suspicions of US involvement came to a head soon after the exchange of power in Cairo according to multi-national journalists working there. Several pointed to precedents set way back in 1953 when democratically elected Mohammad Mosaddeq was melodiously deposed in Iran and the Shah brought back to the throne. His crime: Nationalizing the oil companies so that the Iranian people, and not British Petroleum, might benefit from that natural resource.

“We can talk about the jazz quartet that brought down Salvador Allende in Chile in 1973 and the seemingly progressive folk group the undermined the existing government in South Vietnam in 1963,” said a reporter for Al Jazeera. “Maybe  we could peek in at other incidents involving the woodwind quartet that successfully rid the world of (Our boy) Saddam Hussein. Then we have Guatemala’s Jacobo Arbenz Guzman in 1954  (quick strike United Fruit piano sextet) and (our other buddy who knew too much) Manuel Noriega (Subliminal Navy Glee Club). Guzman’s crime was redistribution of land to the peasantry…. land stolen from the people and set aside for corporate interests in the United States. The other two criminals were set up/created by the US and taken down when they got too big for their britches.”

The shameful list goes on. The Kingdom of Hawaii (Marching band, 1893), Brazil (Big band, 1964), Cambodia (Choral choir, 1970). All music to the ears of the plutocrats in Washington.

Another scribe reminded readers that to musically galvanize another country’s power base is an intrusion of irreproachable dimension and is illegal under international law.

“As one can see by the evidence presented after the Egyptian coup d’ etat (the action that wasn’t labeled as such by the US) the track record of the United States is nothing short of totalitarian,” continued a reporter for the London Times.

“Since 1945 the monkey business carried out by the United States government in the name of its citizens has been ineffective, incurious and flat immoral,” continued the newsman. “It is the policy of a ruling party in bed with the wealthy and dedicated solely to the betterment of their pocketbooks. If someone (even its own expendable citizens) or some country gets squashed that’s just collateral damage — The rich made plenty of money and therefore the action was a victory! Meanwhile the American people continue to believe that their country has its heart in the right place when it has little if any heart at all”

– Kashmir Horseshoe