Turkey Lottery Cruel?

(Montrose) The proposed Turkey Lottery, slated for Thanksgiving 2021, has played to mixed revues and reactions here and in other rural communities across the Colorado.

Saying that the birds already encounter enough stress this time of the year, one critic of the concept called the measure inhumane. Supporters of the bill insist that it will create a sense of justice and put a vast segment of the turkey population out of harm’s way, for now.

Here’s how it will work: The birds are assigned numbers based on birthdays and then draw for positions relative to the holidays. Lower numbers will designate the dinner table while higher numbers will earn a reprieve for the year.

“It’s as fair as anything else,” said Dag Katz, architect of the lottery. “This way the condemned might get their lives in order before late November. The saved can go on without fear of the  swan song and a side of mashed potatoes and cranberries.”

Vegetarians were not consulted on this matter and plan to boycott the entire issue.

“What rubs my chops is that nobody has consulted the sweet potatoes or the yams,” said

continued Friday