(t)rumpclips

Pinocchio Law Back on Book

The United States Senate has enacted the long-ignored and aberrant Pinocchio Law in response to “mistruths and exaggerations common to the current administration”. Falling short of calling the misleading statements and unfounded accusations lies, the legislative body said the law as exhumed so as to “hold unnamed persons accountable for declarations and to discourage disruption, hoodwinking and falsification on matters imperative in governance”. Whether any of this will alleviate future problems will depend greatly on the intelligence level of the American public.

Homeland Security falls short on apology for attack on Royal Caribbean

Official White House position statement:

re: Attack on Cruise ship somewhere in the Caribbean Sea.

“Clearly terrorists aboard/pirates and maybe Democrats too.”

The federal agency appears to be having trouble admitting collateral damage had occurred among the large, credit card gringos playing shuffleboard and eating five meals per day. “We do not know anything about this,” dismissed a White House spokesperson.

Dems Force GOP concessions on ICE

1. ICE will no longer play Richard Wagner compositions to cover mysterious whistle sounds.

2. MAGA Republicans will wear red underwear to work so they are more easily recognized for what they may be.

The short meeting was called to order and terminated before any one could determine the coordinates of the location and detain offending participants who hate America..

***Vance pushes, poses with new trump products New this spring: Trumpathy like empathy only bigger and better. When it seems like empathy but it’s not, it’s Trumpathy says the catchy jingle. Former allies are said to be appalled by the shameless mercantilism encouraged by a sitting President.

Make America Go Away caps in Greenland selling far better than MAGA religious relics in the Bible Belt. Why does this madman want colonies in the 21st Century? They are not cost effective Don.

Vatican on edge as Pope threatens to ex-communicate Vice President J.D. Vance.

“Why couldn’t he have stayed a Pentecostal like good hillbillies.” said one Cardinal from his perch at the Vatican. “His anger and lack or tolerance makes my hair stand on end, and speaking of hair, Orange Don remains in seclusion reportedly growing a Stalinesque mustache. “It will be big and beautiful”  Meanwhile Trumps boxers and his ideas about the economy were called highly inelastic by leading economists.

Magabuse approved by FDA

Despite GOP recusals the antidote Megabuse is gaining fans nationwide

The experimental antidote for MAGA does not effectively embrace the prevention ignorance, racism, violence and xenophobia but it’s a start.

Despite a possible risk factor (about the same as spending an hour with Robert F. Kennedy Jr.)

Liar’s bench, gold panning, petroleum  exhibit to grace South Lawn.

A highly anticipated White House World Wrestling Review may premier at shuttered trump-Kennedy center to make room for gala 250-year anniversary celebrations elsewhere.

In a related development many Proud Boys and  will serve as temporary prosecutors at DOJ** (Don’s Optional Justice) due to problems recruiting new lawyers to such a dirty career.

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Child: But mommy where does all the money go that trumpies have kept from health care, childcare, federal worker’s salaries Nato, Ukraine, and tariffs?

Mother: Well sweetie, they spend it on bombs and keep the change for themselves as the federal debt soars out of control. So much for conservative values.