Trump-ridden newly accepted in Webster’s

(Washington) A beaming Donald Trump puffed up and thanked supporters, adding that he, more than almost anyone, belonged in the dictionary.

“I am the best person for the honor,” he smiled. “I am the first President to have a dictionary word named after him. Even O’Bama didn’t do that. It’s a great accomplishment.”

Trump-ridden although not particularly gracious, gives Trump much needed attention in the arena of the inteligensia, another word in the dictionary often lost under exuberant red caps.

The term Trump-ridden is used as an adjective in the following sentence: FCC Reclassifies a Trump-ridden FOX News as a “dishonest, raw opiate” despite row by Jeff Sessions.

The White House has only recently criticized the attorney general for disloyalty.

Trump further welcomed the inclusion by announcing the a military parade will be organized in his honor to celebrate the great feat.

Dictionary tribute provides distraction, masks voyage

(Milwaukee) Moments after a swaggering President Trump began his monologue about dictionary inclusion and greatness, a small convoy of yachts began landing near St Petersburg. Over 200 Republicans and their families surrendered their ocean-going vessels and walked ashore.

This was the Ryan-McConnell Flotilla, an armada that had been seen setting sail from Washington in the middle of the night. For most of the pilgrims it was the first time, excluding Cancun and Niagara Falls, they had set foot out of the United States

Greeted by top officials from the Kremlin, the immigrants will reside the Russia so as to avoid prosecution for treason in the United States. Many have applied for diplomatic immunity, refugee status and outright asylum. Putin is expected to greet his comrades at a state dinner in Moscow on Friday.

In the chaos to escape the cold, several smaller craft sank in the choppy seas ceding untold tons of gold to the Baltic Sea. Three unidentified members of the House were feared lost in the attempt to recover the loot. They were immediately replaced from a nearby bait bucket, thoughtfully brought on board by a competitive bass fisherman from the Midwest, who had hoped to “land a caviar or two.”

Although promised luxury accommodations in St Petersburg, the Tory cluster will instead be housed in the village of Krasnoyarsk, 220 kilometers northwest of the Mongolian border “until they assimilate into the Russian culture” according to party officials quite familiar with this sort of thing.

Meanwhile, the Integrity Index, a measure that determines good and evil in public servants jumped 67 points with the departure of the Congressmen. Several Democrats, invited to go along on the sojourn, declined the offer in that they could not swim and had to wash their hair that evening.

– Gabby Haze