TRUMP TO GRACE $10,000 BILL

(Florida White House) President for now, Donald Trump, may grace new United States currency as early as summer. Due to an Executive Action on the part of the besieged Commander in Chief, his familiar sneer with orange hair is perched to don the newly minted $10,000 bill.

Along with Trump’s mug the bill will be decorated with In Wall Street We Trust and feature an engraving of Trump Towers in Manhattan on the back.

Poster boy in front of The Towers of Babble in NYC

Most of his middle class supporters, former and current, will probably never see one. Conversely many are behind the move saying their boy deserves the honor of joining Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln on American currency.

Mount Rusmore was not discussed.

What’s in it for me Republicans and gelded Democrats mumbled approval while telling their constituencies that they were fighting for their rights and freedoms. Most appear anxious as to whether they, as contractors, will be stiffed by Trump come pay day.

Whether or not the cumbersome, almost worthless penny will finally be discarded was not discussed according to unreliable sources on the scene. Sources in the House confirmned that it would act on the penny as soon as Obamacare is replaced.

Detractors chimed in saying that maybe the President can cash a few of these new notes in to pay for his lavish vacations charged on the taxpayer’s tab.

One vocal critic of the current administration told The Horseshoe that National Security Advisor, Steve Bannon had been considered for a newly proposed $100,000 bill but considering his covert role he has declined the offer.

“We see a day,” said House Whip, Rich McGrovel, “when the rich will use bills of this denomination for debts public and private, while the rest of the peasants will clutch the same old fives and tens trying to survive inflation.”

Although nothing is certain, the White House has seen a parade of cosmetologists and photographers since the plan was announced Friday.

In a related piece, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos plans to ban the Spanish language from public schools. DeVoss who consistently earned straight As in penmanship while in high school, explained her position in that “I can’t understand a word that those people are saying.”

Readers are warned to keep seat belts securely fastened as turbulence is likely to occur.

“Incompetence is it’s own reward.” – Uncle Pahgre