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City, hospital teaming up on sleep disorder syndrome

(Montrose) The City of Montrose and Montrose Memorial Hospital will cooperate in an experimental procedure linking council meetings with out-patient therapy. Starting this week patients of the hospital, suffering from sleep disorders, will begin keeping minutes at legislative sessions. Doctors expect that the action will put them to sleep.

     Attendance will be mandatory for all receiving treatment.

     “Who knows,” said one source, “maybe some of these tired novices will run for elected office themselves someday thus completing the cosmic circle.”

     Officials at both institutions hope that this move will relieve symptoms of the illness while researchers search for a cure. If this doesn’t work patients may be forced to watch Rockies’ games on television through the summer.

     Anyone wishing to join in this flowering marriage between health and politics is invited to attend, however space is limited and guests are reminded that there is no eating or drinking in council chambers. Alcohol is prohibited until after the meeting is concluded.  

“As soon as an infant passes through the birth canal he/she has a pre-existing condition.”  – Dr. Pilar Riosucio in Sabe Nada, Los Herman’s de Testosterone, Bogota