STUDENT BODY AMONG NATION’S CLEAN CUT

(Harvard-on-Tomichi  School Daze  September 12, 2016)

The current enrollment at Western State College is among the nation’s elite, at least in one catagory. According to a just published report in College Material, a self-described guide for prospective scholastic icons, Western State students finished just under those at William and Mary in the magazine’s Most Clean Cut rankings.

Other colleges and universities listed in the black with regards to general cleanliness and purity included Oral Roberts University, Pepperdine, Georgetown, BYU, North Dakota Teacher’s, West Point, Sarah Lawrence, New Hebron Barber College, the Air Force Academy, the Naval Academy and Brown. Those mentioned at the bottom of the roster were Cal Berkley, NYU, University of Wisconsin, Fresno Embalming State, Yale, University of Nevada Las Vegas, Fort Lewis College and the University of Colorado.

Judgment was based on such considerations as personal hygiene, body piercing, hair length, adherence to current fashion, automobiles, taste in partners, recreational pursuits and diet. Agricultural schools, including culinary institutes were not included in the poll.

Here student reaction was mixed with one freshman saying that he thought the standing gave the school more credibility and the rest of the student body slightly embarrassed.

“We’re trying to be as hip as possible and shed this clean cut image,” offered one coed. “It’s just difficult haround here with all the positive influences.”

Another college senior, who said he burned all his ties and adopted a surly attitude while a sophomore, told The Horseshoe that their was nothing avant garde about a little dirt under the fingernails or a mop of greasy hair.

“At the same time I can’t recall very many of the world’s great thinkers posed in the bathtub,” he mused, “with the possible exception of Jean Paul Marat, and we all know what happened to him, or do we?”

– Susie Compost