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Congress Accidentally Suspends Pay

In the most recent attempt to avoid a fiscal shutdown of someone’s federal gov’ment the Senate and House have succeeded in cutting their own throats, in a fiscal sense.

Passing throngs of mindless legislation of late, the governing body has mistakenly separated its very own elected officials from financial lifelines, and terminated paychecks. The pecuniary stoppage of expected compensation affects both the Senate and the House of Reprehensibles.

Treasury Department officials confirmed that the paychecks will remain in limbo until the presiding body balances the federal budget and effectively combats future government shutdowns.

“We won’t be eligible to get next check for what could be quite a while,” said one senator from Florida.

“Thankfully we are all rich otherwise we’d be sleeping on the street or in our cars like many of our fellow Americans,” said a Congressperson from Missouri.

Insiders suggest that the legislators will simply lean on lobbyists, family connections and even unionization to survive the recent setback and maintain access to the proverbial cookie jar.

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