Subject of Wobbly Tables Undressed by Council

(Wimpton) The local town council has voted 33-1 to outlaw the import of any more wobbly tables to the region. The action was taken after hundreds of complaints were received from consumers here.

“We can’t solve all of the problems on the docket,” said one councilmember, “but by golly we will have stability where we take our meals. There is nothing worse than a wobble when one is attempting to drink a full-brimmed martini or consume bean dip in one’s summer whites.

Several members tolled would not comment on further plans for wobbly tables already in the region or the presence of wobbly chairs along the frontier.

At present a local ordinance requires the bolting down of all plastic furniture and dogs-at-large prior to Election Day.

In old business: The subject of septic tank odor was tabled until the decorators decide on new wallpaper and expanded handicapped parking adjacent to the council chambers.

– Kashmir Horseshoe