State Plans 60 New Scenic Views by 2020
M. Toole | Aug 17, 2019 | Comments 0
(Denver) Transportation engineers here have decided to grace the state with more than 60 new scenic viewing pull-offs on Highways 50, 550 and 145 it was disclosed this morning.
The new construction is expected to hold up traffic for months despite the fact that most of the work is being done off-road. Crews from as far away as Mack will begin preliminary dozing as early as October 15 hoping to complete the improvements before the snow falls.
“We plan to include bathrooms in the more upscale views,” said Melvin “Slim” Toolini, planner and strategist behind the effort. “When we’re done it oughta be damned panoramic around here!”
The scenic views are said to be repayment for all of the water stolen by Front Range communities since the 50s.
“It’s all very politically correct,” said Toolini. “I love the smell of asphalt going down on a hot road. When we’re all done we’ll have scenic views looking on to other scenic views.”
– Uncle Pahgre
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