Spiders Gain Three Seats

(Weblander, Desertahara — Arachnid Follies — April 11, 2016)

Western Slope spiders have gained three seats in the Colorado House and may be pushing for a pro-spider senator according to reports crawling and scampering into this cultural center. According to the 2010 Census the state spider population has skyrocketed (23% growth) earning the Arana Party a dramatic increase in representation.

Whispered conversations overheard in dark cellars and crawl spaces all over the Rockies suggests that the eight-legged beasts may be planning to run a populist candidate for the White House in 2016. Spiders have for centuries suffered from a severe public relations problem: Humans tend to squash them whenever they enter homes of places of business.

The arachnids hope that their higher visibility in the capital will present their plight in a better light and press for full autonomy. Attempts to ally themselves with insect splinter groups have failed miserably due to spider arrogance and the dance of the current food chain.

“In closing, we would like to remind allies and potential allies that we are not insects,” said one organizer.

-Boogey Tuesday