Solitaire Legend to Host Workshop

(Montrose)  A complimentary clinic conducted by solitaire great Pinky Diamond and sponsored by the Laser State Continuing Education Department will be held at the Montrose Pavilion on Tuesday, August 25 according to the Uncompahgre Lonely Hearts Club. The program, open to the public, will consist of seminars, an autograph session and footage of classic matches covering Diamond’s 48 years in solitaire.

A second session will be held at the Daughters of the American Rationalization Hall in Manana which will be invitation only and presented in conjunction with a cocktail reception and marginal dining experience.

“This may break the stranglehold that bingo has had on this community since World War I,” said Ginn Rooney, a one-armed blackjack dealer and highly recognized authority on parlor games that is credited with the invention of the poker chip in 1932. Rooney recently moved to Montrose from Las Vegas for the nightlife.

Once the second-ranked solitaire player in the world, Diamond reportedly mastered the demanding game on long, cold nights while working as a sheepherder on California Mesa in the 50s. In 2001 he  retired from professional solitaire to pursue a doomed career as a Tango singer in 2013. These days Diamond raises miniature emus on his 10,000-acre ranch high above Colona and where he still plays cards.

“We’re real lucky to have him in town,” said Rooney, who will perform card tricks until someone has a better idea of how to spend the evening. We’re actually neighbors up near Buckhorn. He’s a lot more fun than those surfers that used to live up here,” she said.

“He’s not used to playing solitaire in front of all these people,” smiled Rooney. “We hope he won’t let the crowd rattle him at tense moments of play.”

A native of Iceland, he changed his show name from Avril Balboa Bergstol to Pinky Diamond at the end of the Spanish Civil War. After that he enjoyed great success coaching and now has embraced organic education. Most recently he has gained attention for his failed efforts to convince livestock as to the benefits of Daylight Savings Time.

“We fervently hope solitaire will gain the attention much deserved in the arena of international sport and recreation here on a local level,” quipped Rooney. “It may be the last chance we get to bring quality entertainment to the provinces.”   

– Pepper Salte