The Brave, New World of Hay Bales

Several weeks ago I went on-line and purchased 4 bales of designer hay as a birthday present for Bessie, my favorite Paso Fino mare. It was Amazon or EBay or some such robot retail entity.  Since then I have been the recipient of a dozen or more emails but no hay yet.

The barrage of emails first congratulated/informed me that the order was “received”. Then they confirmed all of that again in another email. The number I had been assigned was #77776298474637.

I refused to memorize it and went on with my daily chores.

The next day I received a notice that the package was “ready to send” then the next day that it was being “processed”.

In no time another email arrived in my inbox saying the item will be sent on a given day with promises of puny credits if it is not at its destination by a certain date.

Big News Today! They are sending my goods to me and Bessie. Maybe they still have a chance to be here in time for the birthday party (She’s 20).

But not to be. The next email outlines options for tracking the package.

And more emails came stumbling. One apologized and told me the delivery would be a few days later than the original date. Another asked me to confirm my zip code. A third told me my hay was now in the hands of UPS or Fed Ex and that they would handle the transfer.

Another email warned me that the items ordered could be delivered in separate containers.

When I had all but given up on the order I got an email saying that my tracking number had changed and that the item in question could not be delivered to a post office box.

Finally yesterday (her birthday and all) I was informed that the item I had ordered was sold out. I should have bought local. Now I’m headed to town for candles, paper hats and some organic oats laced with molasses, a favorite of Bessie since she was a colt.

From “The herd life ain’t no good life – but it’s my life”

– by Gabby Haze