SOLAR POWER – THE BIG LIE

(Ridgway) Of all the pinko-techno logic that has risen from the ashes, lauding the benefits of solar energy is the most ridiculous. The very idea that redirecting the power and heat of the sun for the benefit of modern man is not only silly but also it is also dangerous. 

It is the apex of hype and deceit.

Harnessing the sun, or trapping solar energy (accepted at 1000 watts per square meter) is a mindless and misinformed pursuit carried out by 21^st Century solar charlatans who have only one goal: separating the consumer from his hard-earned cash. Do people really fall for these pipe dreams, providing simple answers to ancient challenges such as keeping warm and generating power? Can’t architects and contractors see through the smoke and mirrors? The growing roster of victims runs all the way around the block. These are the poor unfortunates that been burned by false doctrines as to the contributions of the Sun. 

Laced with all kinds of new age trip words, the solar energy equation states that stored heat of the sun can and will replace petroleum and coal if given the chance. How absurd. Those who embrace these juvenile wish lists are surely headed for a disaster of catastrophic dimensions. If solar-powered cars are so special why are all the gas stations doing such a booming business? Why do city folk continue turn up the thermostat? Why are chain saws so popular with country folk?

The misconceptions run rampant while solar engineers attempt to herd energy-starved optimists willing to embrace fictitious clean-air solutions. They don’t even begin to address the problem of solar waste preferring to turn their heads as byproducts are dumped indiscriminately, with no thought to the health of future generations.  

Right now, ugly solar collectors cover the landscape like washing machines on the porches of progress. What are they collecting? I can clearly see a pile of coal but I can’t see stored energy. Moreover, what of the innocent little birds that fly into this evil apparatus and never again fly out again? 

These emerging sci-fi shrines to sun worship are already dinosaurs compared to proven methods such as mining and offshore drilling. Take for instance the construction of solar towers all over the Southwest. These intrusive monuments to the big lie are killing our wildlife (there are bones and feathers everywhere) and allowing alien beings to monitor our every move from deep in outer space.

Up until now, no one actually owns the sun, but just wait. Plans are already in the works to charge the consumer for sunlight. Here in Colorado that tab could get really expensive since we now enjoy over 320 days of sun per year. Despite the invoice, what shall we do during the night when the sun is on the other side of the world? In order to resist these efforts to control and profit from the sun we must be aware of what is really happening under our collective noses.

The lies began centuries ago with temples to a variety of sun gods and goddesses. The Egyptians built alters to the sun while the Incas sacrificed victims to the sun gods who determined health, family and harvest. The Mochica, Nazca and Chimo were often more brutal, often blindfolding their prey then hurling them down steep stairways in the dark.

“It’s nothing but pagan prattle,” said Rory Phelps, coordinating director of primitive studies at the University of Downtown Delta. “Do you think it’s OK to throw a virgin into a smoking volcano to appease a sun god? People who buy into the solar lie are apt to accept almost anything but maybe the prospects are not as hot as they think.

Some decades later, the Prussians used solar-operated weaponry to subdue the Russians in World War I, highlighting the heinous side of applied science when it falls into the wrong hands. (As most readers will note: solar weaponry fell from favor with the introduction of atomic arsenals and nuclear delivery systems that make more noise).

An obviously airbrushed photo allegedly showing solar energy at work. I don’t see anything. Do you?

Academies across the country have joined a burgeoning group asking: “What happens if the sun burns out in, say, a million years…why the short-term investment?”

How much abuse before reserves dry up and the kingpin of our solar system goes dark causing temperatures to plummet and plants to die? What will these solar wizards offer then? What about all that coal that we left in the ground in our rush to welcome solar power? What about the stockpiles of oil hidden deep within the earth’s crust? Will we, as a society, leave it to rot?

The hocus pocus goes on. One former believer in Ridgway has changed his tune:

“I read the brochures and I thought solar energy was going to provide jobs,” he lamented. “I got up every morning and applied sun screen with a giant roller and nothing happened. It became increasingly tedious and the neighbors were talking. After a few frustrating weeks I tore down the collectors and took them to a recycling plant. Now I’m back to propane and loving it.”

Another surprised consumer, Melissa Johnson, of Log Hill said, “The solar sauna is hit or miss and won’t work on the north side of the house or at night when we want to soak off the grid.”

Other solar pretenders report that the technology doesn’t work on doublewides.

“Only the rich can harness solar,” said one man. “Renewable energy is not for the common working stiff.”

Creators of the Solar Consumption League, a power watchdog group opposed to the application of solar energy, reminds us that Ronald Reagan was the first to sound the alarm on solar.

“President Reagan further exposed the hoax taking down all of the solar panels of the White House in 1981. If solar technology was so good, would a president of the United States be stupid enough to discard it? C’mon.”

“Don’t be duped by all the propaganda,” said Josh Kent. “I’ve been a builder for 35 years and…I…I forgot what else I was going to say.”

And so goes the saga. The next thing you know they’ll expect us to believe that useable power can actually be generated by windmills or that we can create electricity with falling water.

Solar Chatter heard locally:

“It doesn’t work. It sucks.”

-Margot DeHavilande, local alternative energy critic

“I love the smell of a coal-fired nuclear

liquification plant in the morning.”

– Col. Worthington Bulbous, former chief of solar intelligence, KGB, LSMFT