RUSSIAN CREDITORS FORECLOSE ON AIR FORCE ONE

Russian loan sharks have seized an Air Force One airplane apparently used a collateral for a loan by President Donald Trump.

Snatching the plane, one of two highly customized Boeing 747-200B series aircraft, creditors in the service of unidentified Russian oligarchs say it is safe in an undisclosed location.

Trump appears to have made the deal on the evening of January 20 in January 2017, just hours after being inaugurated.

White House sources called the development “dubious at best”, continuing to separate themselves from the president, both physically and politically.

In addition to the aeronautical confiscation, agents from Turkey, maintaining that Trump has defaulted on further loans, have taken most of the patio furniture and a number of potted plants from the Rose Garden.

“We gave him a rebate and 36 months interest-free,” said one banker in Istanbul. “Sure he was high-risk but he’s got a line of crap that stretches from the Urals to the Pyrenees. With all the bankruptcies we should have known better.”

In other news: The long-awaited Kool-Aid Antidote is still months away say reality show doctors at the White House, who denied reports that Democrats would need a high capacity crawler crane to forcibly remove the “larger than life ex-President from the Pennsylvania Avenue property in January.

For more on this please see “Morals and Extraditions”

– Red Herring