Ridgway Energy Efficient

(Cow Creek, CO) The Carbon Boot Print – Spring 2027) — May 1,  2016)

The Environment Protection Militia today proclaimed the City of Ridgway (pop 130,000) as Energy Efficient. The esteemed honor has been bestowed on very few communities nationwide.

The status is linked to the construction of a giant dome stretching from Colona (annexed in 2021) to West Dallas Creek to Enchanted Mesa all the way south to Ouray (incorporated by the Ridgway Town Council in 2024). Built of adobe, aluminum cans, tires, bottles and old clothes donated by the Double RL Consortium, the dome is one of the largest such structures on the planet.

The only winterized version (designed cows, protection from ozone damage, kinky kiosks and trendy cafes be damned) that is larger is the neighboring Ski Dallas Indoor Mountain Vintage Mobile Cosmic Surgery Complex that, at 23 degrees Celsius, can help feed Utah and preserve local snow from back as far as 1996.

Since Ridgway outlawed the use of fossil fuels last winter the town has stayed warm by burning local deer fence posts and large bales of straw donated by the now defunct DEA.

– Dick “Roller” Derby