Putin may owe 3.5 million to IRS

Vladimir Putin has catagorically denied he owed the United States Treasury Department any money since he had never worked in that country. However IRS files suggest that since last summer Putin has received payments of an undisclosed amount from a shadow US government checking account.

For a related thrill read: Putin – Rasputin: A Frightening Genetic Link 

“They must be whopper checks or he’s been stuck into a higher tax bracket in accordance with economic sanctions imposed by The Obama Administration,” said someone on television. “So what do you know, Vlad’s been covering his paper tail (stet). He wouldn’t try that in Russia. They skin him alive right there in Fred’s Square.”

In an apparent effort to deflect attention, Putin today named former agents Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale in yet another hacking probe this time involving Dubai, Rio, Angora and Western Nebraska. The Cold War standouts, thought to be long dead have been living in in in Crete.

“We caught them (Boris and Natasha) red-handed,” choked Putin, “They were in Russia illegally to play golf. What fools.”

The well-tanned centenarians were arrested on the ninth hole (a tight par 3 with a dogleg left) while playing a round despite the frigid temperatures at Frostbite Balls, a golf corpse owned by the retired spies.

Longtime associates Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle the Moose, who filled out the odd foursome, were not held in connection with the incident. Friends fear for their well-being as Putin has placed them on the “endangered species list” for their own protection.

– Margot “Ramones” Romanoff