Pray Away the Hay Program Destabilizing Ranchers

(Ridgway) As with many self-righteous revivals there are often pitfalls most notably relating to over-zealous, twisted application and holier-than-thou contingencies within a congregation void of real love and toleration.

Such as it has become with Pray Away the Hay, a faith-based effort aimed at creating a strict theocracy with evangelicals at the stern. A once lauded syllabus outlining a concerted agenda has been shaved down to stubble allowing for the reemergence of heretics and pagans in the county.

Most of those engaged in the petitioning of the Lord with prayer have sordid pasts from drug use to alcohol abuse to a plethora of social ills. They escape from these addictions and substitute salvation tales and the dogmas of those who seek to control their flocks.

And there’s plenty of money in it for the Puritan bosses even thou their followers are suffering due to mindless tariffs and trade wars with China and former allies such as France and Germany. The frustration and misdirection herein has now invaded the ranching community causing fiscal harm and mindless summations not at all related to the spirit but rather to the pocketbook.

The promise of a bailout by the Trump people has turned into a fiasco where they only ranchers receiving money are of the big dollar corporate variety.

“We started evening vespers back in March but the hay is still there,” said Charley Tonne, who earned a doctorate of divinity at the University of Downtown Delta in 1980. “We hopped it all up during the summer months with rodeos and parades but still nothing changed. Last fall we introduced a more militant approach utilizing tirades of dutiful propaganda and the terrible swift sword of sabotage.”

Tonne, head preacher at the Church of the Once Damned insists on being called doctor even though the level of study is generally compared to a junior high school curriculum.

“I read the Bible and took accounting classes at night,” he said. “Looking back I wish I had taken more classroom work in banking and finance. I excelled in Bible study while securing a grasp of micro-economics. So long as there are the good folk we will have mega churches which have about as much connection to metaphysics as they do to hayfields.

Getting back to Pray Away the Hay, Tonne and his born again followers have suspended the controversial program saying that it is clear that the Creator likes hay and that they “should not be bothering him with incidental issues while heaven and hell collide.”

-Kashmir Horseshoe

“Make Italy Great Again!” – Benito Mussolini, 1925.