Newswriting Contest #611

You think it’s easy writing this crap?

We’ve already written several stunning headlines.

Now all you have to do is write the accompanying stories.

Choose at least four headlines and write a short news story for each:

Missing woman found in backyard, escapes to front porch. Police baffled (subhead).

Dogs take matters into own paws. Angry over leash laws and kowtowing.

Local man discovered at other end of the broom

Many in Arizona frightened of cactus

Colorado Springs forges ahead with laundromat-library concept

Nuggets may return to short shorts before long

Colona Open puts pressure on closed services

Venison chewing gum approved by FDA

Silverton man nabbed in Eureka spy triangle

Your news accounts must avoid capitalizing on cheap jingles, misdirected sayings,

puffed up warnings, wives’ tales, and bothersome superstitions.

First Prize:

Win free tuition Famous Newspaper Writing School: ($250,000 value)

with unbelievable giveaway of Superior Lesson (for example):

Composing your own funny obituary

& How to safely interview breakfast meat