Midterms out Friday

(Heaven) The academic gods have reportedly finished grading papers, posting test scores and charting positive and negative behavior in the classroom. Homo Sapiens has maintained a low C drifting into high D…never complete failure but likewise only recording spotty, clumsy lunges into the A and B zones.

“Many of the poorly performing students could flunk out and be washed away like paper boats in a hurricane,” said Greta Grippe, recently appointed Czar of Education in states still loyal to the government in Washington.

“At least the comprehension gurus ain’t talking final exams,” said  Grippe. “Now that would be disturbing.”

In a related story local man Melvin Q Toole and two female companions have been arrested for handing out maps to the local library. Police deny the action saying the trio has been detained for its own protection.

-Estelle Marmotbreath

“However, Plaintiff in good conscience cannot allow his music to be used as a ‘theme song’ for a divisive, un-American campaign of ignorance and hate.” – attorney for Neil Young in copyright infringement lawsuit against Trump Reelection Campaign.