Lassie “Man in dog suit” says co-star

(Hollywood) The much beloved collie, that played Lassie in the popular TV drama, was actually not a dog at all, but a man in a dog suit, according to the show’s co-star, known only as Billy.

The clever fur disguise, which fooled millions of children back in the Fifties, was, according to the fugitive child star, a creation of a studio prop contingent that has  mysteriously disappeared over the years. Despite a string of investigations their fate remains unclear. Relatives petitioned the police to continue the investigation into the strange disappearances but it was officially closed in 1973, the smell of foul play lingering in the air.

Billy has been under the protection of the federal gov’ment following testimony against Communist infiltrators in the infant TV industry. Many of the alleged un-American targets were later blacklisted. Accusations that cartoons were not real and that Black Beauty was actually a gelding all but overhauled early TV, and set precedent as to content for the next decade.

“If the forces of anarchy get a hold of Billy, now 60, it could be a blood bath,” said one television policeman. “We’re just proud of him for having the guts to tell the truth.”

– Rocky Flats    

buttload: (obsolete, Britain, West Country) A regional English measure of capacity of a heavy cart (a butt), containing 6 seams, or 48 bushels, equivalent to 384 gallons.