Judiciary Contest Winner Announced

(Crested Butte) Little Melvin Toole of Irwin has won first place in the 2013 Judiciary Contest sponsored by the local civil liberties union. Toole, 6, took home $300 for correctly defining habeas corpus as the right to stand before one’s accuser and the right to protection from unlawful restraint.

The second place finisher Marigold Swami of Crestone defined habeas corpus as producing a dead body while three others said it was a lusty, hummus-like porridge, (haggis) favored by those of Scottish origin and their hung-over friends.

In the final tally 35% of those participating said habeas corpus was a disease common to wild boar while almost 50% said it was the name of a Roman Emperor. One woman told us it was the name of a popular Montrose micro brew.

In addition to the cash Toole will receive an Attica basketball jersey and a free boat trip around Alcatraz Island.      – H. L. Menoken