Jesus, Mohammed not taking sides

(Baghdad) In long awaited, simultaneous announcements both Jesus and Mohammed say they are not taking sides in Mideast conflicts and that their allegiances and alliances are not with either the Arabs, the Persians, the Russians or the West.

The combined statements clearly indicate that the two leading religious icons are staying out of the earthly squabbles. Both stressed the folly of God siding with anybody on anything, adding that these self-serving holy warriors are sadly mistaken and poorly informed. They counted Buddha, too, who they said was is in full compliance with their longstanding policy of non-intervention.

No present day church leaders were not consulted, never mind included, in this ancient faction.

“They have done immeasurable damage to the human race and are generally thought to be war mongers and money changers,” brashly punctuated a press release slid under our door this morning.

Meanwhile the head of the World Bank, B.L. Zebub, said his institution would continue to support both sides in emerging conflicts, depending on who has the most cash on hand at the time.

“Collateral damage is to be expected in modern warfare,” said a dark-winged angel. “We congratulate man for his ingenuity in weaponry and population control. Meanwhile we will continue to process the damned, overwhelmed but not yet overrun.”

– H.L. Menoken

“Socialism never works until Grandma needs a ride on the bus.”   – Leon Blotzky