Hunters must employ caddies in 2017

(Rocky Mountain Hideaway – Logistical Laughs – June 26, 2016)
It was a day that many said would never come. Today the Colorado Division of Wildlife approved the Mandatory Caddie Law for all out-of-state hunters. The new regulation, which requires all hunters travel with a caddie, has been receiving increased lip service since incidents of chronic operator error have skyrocketed in certain ranks.

Colorado residents will not be obliged to employ an aide-de-camp although they are encouraged to do so.

“This way we can better insure a more diverse circulation of funds generated by hunters. We hope it will more evenly distribute the all important fiscal impact curve,” said Sandy Bunker, of the DOW/Fairway Division, “or they may fire all of our asses.”

Due to harsh criticism that it has manipulated the purse strings of the annual hunting season, the DOW is attempting to spread the wealth outside the arenas of grocery and convenience stores into the pockets of Americans. Over 400 caddies have already enrolled in the program.

Candidates must be over four feet tall, be amenable to working nights and have a strong background in land management.

– Gabby Haze