Horseshoe Defends Kellyanne-Huckabee Endorsement

(Colona) The San Juan Horseshoe today bolstered its support for a Conway-Sanders ticket in November 2020. Saying that although the candidates were “illogical puppets and disjointed at the forehead” the two were the funniest possible candidates available unless one allows comedians, cartoons and/or small animals into the mix.

Both Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders are former Trump officials with Sanders gone and Conway half out the door due to alleged improprieties associated with the Hatch Act (an ax to grind) during green chili harvest in 2018. (“Blah, blah, blah…When does my jail time start?”)

“We are in business to make people laugh,” said a spokesperson for the newspaper/website. “These two are the most ridiculous possible candidates since Fritz-Ferraro in 1984 and the now famous “Where’s the Beef?” campaign against Ronald and Nancy.

Orwellian? No. Stupid? Yes.

The Horseshoe’s angry and often elite liberal base voiced disapproval, even anger at the choice, while a worried evangelical base is still counting fingers after a firm handshake with The Donald on the White House Tuesday. Many within this firm Trump base believe their man was part of the Normandy landing in 1944.

“That’s where he got them bone spurs,” said one.

Readers are reminded that the Horseshoe traditionally endorses more than 3000 candidates each election year, changing horses on wedding night and denying having ever supported anyone. The editorial staff feels strongly that anyone seeking office is a power hungry bag of hot air and has no solutions to the problems of the nation.

-Fred Zeppelin