Fun, Simple Home Experiments

Now even you can create cool chemical reactions right there in the kitchen, the galley or the killing floor. Our professional and cosmic research teams will guide you step by step without many punitive measures or long-lasting emotional damage. Let’s get started.

Goals: We want to make predictions, design and modify our test results to suit the current research market. Ready? Let’s eat!

Postulate: Potatoes can undergo both molecular changes and levels of resistance to pressure. The hard or soft quality of the vegetable will often depend on such outside factors as heat, age, crushing apparatus, hurls and descents from tall structures.

Web page accepts no responsibility for personal injury nor does the participating potato.

You will need: One raw potato of medium size, enough tin foil to wrap potato securely, olive oil for exterior, butter and spices for the interior. Implements include sharp knife, fork for mashing, butter knife and hot pad for retrieval from the oven. Average cooking temperatures can vary (see size of chosen potato section) but a safe temperature is about 400 degrees F.

Hot pads should always be employed for every facet of this experiment!

Part I Choosing the right potato
Although this may seem trying, trite or even tedious the amateur scientist must follow protocol in selecting the correct spud. It should possess non-offensive odor, brown skin (red can be substituted here), minimum blemishes and the stamina to survive the wonders of science.
Now that you have picked the stimulus we must give some consideration of the necessity of indoor cooking this time of the year. The light sensitivity in the preparation parlor should always be consistent with the autumn shadows to avoid minor, yet destructive detonations wherein the potato becomes the aggressive projectile and can do great harm to cooks and bystanders. Some people have trouble manipulating the massed artificial light and risk poking themselves during the Pricking Applications.

Part II The Pricks are essential
After washing the subject, the attentive culinary researcher will excitedly prick the potato with a sharp fork so as to allow some of the natural moisture to escape the spud. Examine the potatoes foreskin. Is it wrinkled or smooth? Thermodynamics demand these little pricks. Then the perforated potato must be placed on the center rack. Watch out that hard to detect starch molecules remain malleable throughout the early stages of probing and into the final meltdown phase.

Part III Sustaining the correct temperature
When initial preparation begins, it is imperative to keep the potato hot. We have found that unheated potatoes are of no use in these tests. In fact, we have discovered that the temperature inside the potato causes the butter to melt more rapidly. The cold potato embodies the adverse affect.
Much of the recent academic investment in this arena has centered on why an unheated vegetable and a hunk of semi-frozen animal protein do not relate. They are incompatible when the nightshade tuber is cold but just watch when the butter is introduced into the mass of steaming spudmeat. It returns to its liquid state as the molecules get very, very excited*. The acceleration diminishes as the cold butter has its way with added condiments mixed together in the classic sand and salt action credited with bringing white people to the beach in ever burgeoning numbers during the summer.

Part IV The standing potato
Once the proper reaction has been created the potato is ready to be dressed and put to bed. While keeping the interior temperature as hot as possible, slice the potato cross ways and push from the bottom until it pops. Try to keep the butter on top for increased control. Quickly add butter, pepper and salt to taste. The extravagant might like bits of garlic while the traditionalist will insist on cayenne and rosemary. The maladjusted often enjoy a sprinkling of chives on the top.** Remember: The Baker is relatively healthy but one can discount that standard by adding sour cream, bacon bits, cheese and/or lard. Least we not forget: the potato has been a delicacy in most of the world since first being used in Peru back before the salsa rage. We have repeatedly observed fine diners picking at their lobster or prime rib in favor of savoring their perfectly baked spud. Further unaccountable stimuli common to diminished mass and premature hardening will be discussed in Political Science 400 next semester.

Now you have mastered this elusive and compelling transition from garden to dinner table. Please be careful when handling hot objects from the oven. When embracing “the old potato down the pants beach enticement trick” be sure to use a potato that has been kept at room temperature for at least twelve hours.

*Be aware: Butter may slide off knife especially when utensil has been heated by contact with the potato. Macro eruptions of the magnitude that buried Pompeii are not covered under most flood insurance policies.

**The more seriously maladjusted might try this experiment with frozen fries or instant mashed potatoes risking serious blasts due to the high level of carbon dioxide and saltpeter contained in these chemical adaptations of food.

Thanks to our friends over at the Police State University lab for the use of their irrigation boots and goggles used to complete this experiment.