Food – Not Bombs Bill Killed in House

(Warshington) A controversial Food Not Bombs bill was staunchly defeated in the House today, empowering hawks and leaving sponsors in dismay. In a nutshell the bill would have replaced weaponry with bread.

Although the details were sketchy going in the program would run along the lines of the successful Marshal Plan adopted following the isolation of Berlin in 1946. Instead of dropping bombs the US Air Force would food in rubber bales that would bounce, thus not demolishing at impact on the ground.
USA would be clearly marked on the packages of food wit the hopes that hungry people would see who was feeding them and who was just whistling Dixie in the theater of foreign aid.

“Ain’t no money in feeding people for free,” said a congressman from Kentucky.

“War is profitable.”

Supporters of the bill argue that morally is not the issue here. They insist it is much cheaper to feed people than bomb them with much more desirable results down the road. They add that there are slimmer provisions for corruption and graft. Plus it could be good for our farmers.

“What is this whistling Dixie?”asked a Russian observer attached to the House of Representatives. “We say fart in the cold. Is this the same idea?”
Meanwhile the Corps of Engineers, bridge builders extraordinaire, continues with plans to construct a concrete bridge from Washington to the Great Midwest in hopes of developing a dialogue and maybe encourage cultural exchanges.

Many American farmers. often subsidized by the gov’mernt for not growing food, have long been wary of federal programs wondering aloud who’s knocking down the bowling pins in this program.

“We figure if they’re giving us a shovel of easy money they must be making a truckload,’ said Slim Brennan-Zappa, a dental floss magnate from Germantown, Ohio.