Eating Crow Never Tastes Good

(Ouray) A controversial summer project which places a bounty on Ravens, crows and magpies is a hit with idle school children so far this summer but it has animal rights advocates fuming.

“We’re not alluding to force-fed opinions, admissions of wrongdoing, extracted apologies or relinquishing long-held beliefs,” said Earl Beake, a local rice farmer. “The term eating crow does carry with it other implications.

The plan, dubbed Bring Back the Songbirds, seems to be gaining momentum with over 200 crows no longer reported out of commission. Kids are paid $2 per crow and limited to sling-shots, pellet guns and rocks as their arsenal. Adults are restricted from participating in the action.

“The crow thing gives local kids a chance to earn spending money while ridding the town of unwanted pests,” said Beake, who hates the sound of the overbearing bully birds early in the morning. “It gets them out of the house and is far less violent than living in the suburbs.”

Critics here and elsewhere say the practice of downing the loud creatures is cruel and teaches kids the wrong approach to a problem. Supporters of  the program say the crows have bullied other bird species, often driving them out of town. In addition, they add, the crows are ill-bred, perverted pests that strut around cawing and making indecent remarks.

 As a gesture of sincerity Bring Back the Songbirds has invited all opponents of the bounty method to a sit-down diner at the Community Center on May 25 to discuss the matter. Anyone with input in this matter should attend a city council meeting and let their views be known. If you are having problems with a specific crow and/or do not like to attend meetings please contact your local police.

-Fred Zeppelin