Complimentary Edibles at Local Bank Riles Feds

Who’s On First National Bank is giving away loaded lollypops, cannabis cookies and gummy bears on Fridays despite complaints from the federal gov’ment and other fiscal monitoring on the part of Colorado.

The idea to expand the selection of a traditional fare has been a huge success according to loan officers, tellers and customers who say they often accumulate reasons for going into the lobby on Friday.

“Sometimes I deposit a dollar or two or withdraw money for the weekend,” said Larry Winde, of Deep Mesa. “I used to visit any old time but now I always wait until Friday to conduct my banking business.”

Tellers, who perhaps have the most direct contact with account holders, say they see happy, mellow customers whose sense of well-being begins when they hit the door.

“They rarely complain,” smiled one bank employee. “Many take longer than usual to fill out simple forms or linger in the shade of their safety deposit box,” quipped Salli Reign, who has worked at the bank for 40 years.

“Everyone is having a ball, FDIC and all,” she added, although people often forget to sign documents and have a habit of leaving personal items behind.”

– Rica Merluza

“It’s only when the tide goes out that you learn who has been swimming naked.” 

– Advice to investors from Warren Buffett.