All Entries in the "Featured Peeks" Category

Colorado Old Timer Trivia Quiz

Front Range Primer #611

Were you born when Colorado became a state in 1876? That would make you old enough to answer all of our test questions correctly the first time around. You youngsters, born in the 20th Century or later may have a struggle but please proceed. Our probability scale is as follows. There are built-in fail-safes for the kids in our readership. (Example: Someone born in 1955 should be able to answer 75% of the questions to qualify for expensive prizes.*
1.Douglas Fairbanks was expelled from what Denver high school in 1883?
2. Where was Bob Ford, the killer of Jesse James, himself slain?
3. Who wrote the Molly Mayfield column appearing in the Rocky Mountain News?
4. What does the white strip on Colorado’s state flag represent?
5. Mattie Silks opened her first parlor house on what street?
6. Which Presidents established a Summer White House in Colorado?
7. How many inches of snow fell on Denver during the Blizzard of 1913?
8. What year was gold discovered along the Platte River and Cherry Creek?
9. The Ku Klux Klan helped elect which Denver mayor in 1923?
10. How many peaks in the Rocky Mountain state are over 14,000 feet?
11. Who was Colorado’s first Miss America?
12. What team did the Denver Broncos beat to win a place in the 1978 Super Bowl?
13. How long is the Moffat Tunnel?
14. What 1973 movie was filmed in a futuristic house in Genesee Park?
15. McNichols Arena sat how many fans?
16. Who founded Tivoli Brewery in 1859?
17. How large was the screen at Phipps IMAX Theater in Denver?
18. What heavyweight boxer was born in Manassa, Colorado?
19. Under what name did the now defunct Lakeside Amusement Park open in 1908?
20. Who won the Pulitzer Prize for a story about an invisible rabbit named “Harvey”?
21. What metal originally covered Denver’s gold leaf capitol dome?
22. When did the Denver Nuggets sign David Thompson?
23. Where is the alleged cannibal, Alferd Packer, buried?
24. Coors Brewery was established in what year?
25. What Denver resident survived the sinking of the Titanic in 1912?
Bonus question: How many Buffalo Bill’s Graves exist in the West?

Answers (No Peekie) to Trivia Quiz
1. East High School
2. Creede (in his saloon in 1892)
3. Francis Foster
4. The snow of our mountains
5. Holladay Street
6. Dwight Eisenhower and Gerald Ford
7. 45.7 inches
8. 1858
9. Ben Stapleton
10. 53
11. Sharon Kay Ritchie
12. Oakland Raiders
13. 6.2 miles
14. “Sleeper”
15. 20,000
16. Moritz Sigi
17. 4.5 stories high and 6.5 stories wide
18. Jack Dempsey
19. White City
20. Mary Coyle Chase
21. Copper
22. 1975
23. Littleton
24. 1870
25. Molly Brown
– Lou Grant
Bonus question (tie breaker)
26. 22. But the Real McCoy is on Lookout Mountain.
*The reward herein is your self-reliance.

Trotsky vuelve a allanar en Miami

ESTADO DEL SOL Panhandler – 25 de febrero 2015
León Trotsky, el ex mandamás comunista creía muerto desde 1930, tiene ha identificado en una lavandería de Miami, donde dio un encendido discurso sobre los males del capitalismo y la estática mientras sus calzoncillos estaban secando. Las autoridades locales, avisó a su presencia por un mecánico secador de Ucrania, llegaron tarde a la escena falta el revolucionario de ojos salvajes que habían estado buscando “un barco camaronero de Managua” a principios de esa misma mañana.
“Tenemos la sospecha de algún tipo de operación de lavado de dinero comunista está en los trabajos,” inflado un detective. “Toda la evidencia no está en pero digamos que el Sr. Trotsky fue” lavado “más que sus pantalones cortos.”
Mientras tanto, en Managua, el presidente Daniel Ortega ha condenado la Administración Obama por lo que él llama las intrusiones de provocación en el perímetro de una nación soberana. Ortega dice que Estados Unidos ha empleado quitanieves drones mononucleares en las zonas montañosas cerca de Estelí, donde el último polvo reportado fue en 1915.
En una respuesta cortante, un portavoz del Departamento de Estado negó cualquier conocimiento de drones que dicen que si hay dispositivos mononucleares fueron enviados a Nicaragua se debió a una falta dentro del departamento de compras a través de la CIA.
“No hablamos y la CIA no comparte mucha información con el FBI o de la Administración”, continuó. “La casa no envía información sensible al Senado y el Pentágono mantiene estricto secreto en los documentos clasificados en su bóveda. La NSA está preocupado acerca de las posibles fugas en el IRS y se niega a devolver las llamadas telefónicas. La CIA no confía en la competencia del FBI y la CIA tiene miedo de que el FBI va a micro-administrar los datos y así exponer a los contactos internacionales de larga nutridas. Así es como mantenemos un control estricto “.
Ninguna de las agencias le importaba a comentar sobre cómo y por qué Trotsky estaba en Miami, si en realidad fue incluso Trotsky en absoluto. – Boca Chica Bess

Los Angeles Restaurateur Intros Time Sharing

(Mulholland Tunnel — February 25, 2015) Time-sharing has invaded the booths and the barstools of many of this city’s favorite eating and drinking spots on the circuit. Chef-Owner Tommy Toaste, the man who originated the concept says the progression was inevitable.
“It’s just like sharing anything else,” he smiled. “The price reflects the specific arrangement made and the willingness of the patron to plan ahead. The restaurant knows how many guests it will serve and the diner commits to an expanded time frame. Everyone wins.”
Here’s how she works: Say a fellow in Boston buys a share in a restaurant that specializes in seafood. Chances are that he won’t eat there every night. So, in his absence someone else will be sipping his chowder. Now say the same guy goes to Milwaukee on business and takes his lovely wife along. He simply checks with his broker who locates suitable bar stools. Then the arriving couple can begin slamming beers upon arrival without spending precious time looking for the right bar.
A circus clown in Omaha trades his prime rib stock for sushi shares in the Bay Area while a lady roller derby standout swaps gumbo credits in New Orleans for a tuna steak in Seattle. International travelers can look forward to trading a leg of lamb in Athens for a chilidog experience in Cincinnati. Kimchi for haggis anyone?
“It’s all measured at BPM or bites per minute,” explained Toaste. “An active time sharer accumulates points that can be spent like cash in participating eateries. Then when he travels across the globe or across the street he is covered. We are a reputable group,” he went on, “and have never condoned eating off another person’s plate.” -Small Mouth Bess

One of the finest chicken joints in Bogota?

Popular eatery in Bogota, Colombia
(Photo by David Mullings-Used without permission)

Editor to attempt jump

(Kinikin Heights — February 25, 2015) A former high-wire great, turned copy editor at this very newspaper, will attempt to hurdle the Black Canyon of the Gunnison in a 1984 Honda 250 grocery cart it was disclosed by the special events department this morning.
Fellow scribes at the San Juan Horseshoe say Melvin O’Toole, of the Maher O’Tooles was coerced into the stunt by radicals in the advertising department that insist the performance will prop up dwindling sales before the holidays.
O’Toole appeared rattled at the follow-up press conference held on the porch at the Coffee Trader in nearby Montrose. He did not answer questions and had what close friends called “a far-away look in his blood-shot eyes”.
Readers may recall O’Toole’s attempted leap in a cardboard crate back in 2002, which resulted in thee months of hospitalization, and another six in physical therapy.
When asked why he would engage in such self-destructive conduct Toole muttered something about job security before ambling off into the cedars.

The wonderful world of insects and spiders

Another informative submission from THE NATIONAL BUG — FEB. 25, 2015
Interesting anecdotes and strong indications that the
human race is not the only inferior species on the planet

Ants keep slaves. Certain species, the so-called sanguinary ants in particular, raid the nests of other ant tribes, kill the queen and kidnap many of the workers. The workers are then brought back to the captor’s hive where they are coerced into performing demeaning and trivial tasks, often for less than minimum wage.

Termites are not related to ants. They are part of the cockroach family and damn proud of it.

A house fly usually lives in Colorado for two weeks then flies back home to go back to work only to return for a week during ski season.

Only the female bees work. Males remain in the hives watching football and drinking bad lite beer. Their only true mission in life is to fertilize the queen on her maiden flight (debutante ball, coming out party, quinceaneras, etc.) For this sole purpose, literally thousands of males are hatched, out of which one or two of them actually mate with the queen. Sound familiar? After they have served their function, the males are never again allowed back into the hive and must sleep on the couch for the rest of their relatively condensed, albeit honey-proned and buzzing, lifetime.

Cockroaches have lived on the planet for 250 million years without ever changing their underwear.

There are more beetles on Earth than any other living creatures, with the exception of bad sports commentators and munitions lobbyists.

Only the female mosquito bites. The male considers this to be the mark of a sissy and prefers to box with its prey. The male is squashed with the same regularity as the female even though he is harmless.

If one places a minimal amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. This is one of the reasons one does not observe these arachnids hanging out in bars. If you intend to try this experiment we prefer you utilize cheap booze and not waste anything good on these miserable bastards.

A cockroach can live for several weeks with its head cut off. Many humans live for 80 years or more with no brains in the head that they maintain.

The bombardier beetle, after digesting a bean burrito, defends itself by emitting a series of explosions, not unlike a World War I gas attack. The successive noises sound a lot like miniature shotgun poof and are accompanied by a cloud of reddish-colored, vile smelling fluid. It is recommended that one avoids elevator rides with these flatulent terrestrials.

Bees have five eyes. There are three small eyes on the top of the bees’ head and two large ones in front. The creatures see you very well and know who swatted at them and who chilled out when they buzzed. If bees counted cards, they might be able to make a killing at the casino.
– Sammy Spiderhausen