BIG BOX FASHION SHOW SLATED FOR MONTROSE

(Spring Creek) The first ever fashion show completely devoted to Big Box figures will be held at the Montrose Fairgrounds February 5-9. Presentations will focus on large sizes and the impact of overloading in the closet as well as on the street or avenue. In addition to the fashion review the program features information kiosks dubbed Why Lose Weight? and “The More the Merrier.”. Issues such as justice in plane overcrowding, park bench maintenance, increased undertaker/casket fees for the opulent and satellite industries emerging from a chubby population are expected to be well represented. Health issues will not to be addressed. Every fast food interest known to man will be represented with grease booths and plenty of free samples.

“We are tired of the fashion world obsessing with skinny models when most of the consumers in these United States are obese or at least overweight,” said Hector Delgado, organizer of the event which will be televised by stations all over Grand Junction. Radio coverage will converge on the scene on the runway and is expected to emphasize locally manufactured clothing and accessories for the modern man and woman.

Since the clearly overweight and obese now make up the majority of Americans the response has been overwhelming and a large turnout is anticipated.

This initial display of Big Box fashion carries with it a dangerous message that “It’s OK To Be Fat”.

Several groups have threatened to boycott the show saying that it has no place in Colorado – The Skinniest of the 50 States. Some more militant advocates say they will disrupt the proceedings so as to send a clear message that this state of affairs is not acceptable or beneficial to a healthy social order.

Entertainment will be provided by the legendary Bad Tuna Boys featuring the virtuoso yodeling of Big Steppe. Psychiatric testing for corpulent participants will be provided by the local pork growers.

“Obesity is a sad slice of life,” said one activist. “End of story.”

– Kashmir Horseshoe