Bering Straight Bridge Scrapped

(Basura de Blanco, AK — Murdoch’s Spill — May 2016)

One of the last legacies of former Governor Sarah Palin, for years relentlessly squashed by the Obama Administration, has mercifully been put to rest. The proposed toll bridge over the Bering Straight has been defunded.

The suspension structure was supposed to have connected the Chukchi Peninsula to the Seward Peninsula about 100 miles south of the Arctic Circle. The cost was estimated to be over $140 million and the construction was to employ most of Palin’s extended dysfunctional redneck family.

Progress studies soon proved that the amount of travel between the two spots would never recover the investment “in a million years”, factoring in a possible spike in population, dire global warming and the discovery of gold in both of these locales,” said one Treasury official on the scene.

Palin was recently in the headlines after a dinner with Donald Trump and her hands-on familiarity with domestic violence. She did not return our phone calls Thursday.

“We’d be far better off building a bridge between New York and Moscow and putting the entire Palin clan in jail,” said the official.

– Kashmir Horseshoe

“When she said “I hate your hair, not referring to the color or the style or even the texture but to each individual follicle, I knew the gig was up.”
– Melvin O’Toole, lamenting on lost romance.