Answers to Spring IQ Test

1. If you said “the wrong way around” was the only safe route to Point B, give yourself one point. If you said “Point B was not really worth the trip”, give yourself two points.
2. The correct answer was “a dog and two birds”. Other acceptable responses include: 1. Mount Whitney 2. rice curds all around 3. The Hangman of Babylon 4. [42] x pr@yx-[24] 5. May 4, 1691 6. sort of greenish or anything written in French. Give yourself 1 point.
3. Only if the electrician’s assistant leaves the building by the third floor west parking loft, north window and if he/she avoids every third step down the false fire escape on the way to the bottom can he expect to survive through the weekend. Worth 3 points.
4. The answer to this one is “the train arrives at 4:31 am. (Participants must show work on this one…although it doesn’t matter to whom one shows said labor.) Worth 2 points on Tuesdays.
5. Either the Crimean War or the Rose Bowl Parade. 1 point.
6. The correct response was 12 but if you submitted any number between 8 and 57 you are all right. (2 points). In fact, any number below 150 gains one point. OK with 150. We might accept any number except 666, which is the work of the devil, and 33, which is the work of an idiot. Bonus point for the trouble.
7. The problem with our society is ignorance and apathy. The proper response is “I don’t know”. If the tested added “and I don’t care” give yourself 4 points.
8. Follow your heart down the drain. 2 points.
9. The red star is under the third cup and the monkey has his hand on your wallet. Close one eye and share the bananas. 2 points. Note: Red stars may appear as black chickens or staple guns in Canada.
10. Trick question: Was Calvin Coolidge ever caught dressing up like a giraffe? One point.
SCORING: If you scored below zero you are a moron but one that can achieve success in mass merchandising. If you scored 1 – 3, you are of average intelligence, which can be quite frightening in the warm-blooded sector. If you scored 4 – 7, you are above average, which guarantees nothing. After all the average American can name all of the contestants on American Idol but cannot spell the name of the current president of Iran, Iraq, India, Pakistan or Yemen. If you scored higher than 10 you are a cheater and should seriously consider running for public office.