Ice Sales to Mexico Leaves Chilly Legacy

Canadian and American relations, already strained by a colander of diplomatic discrepancies, has dipped farther still with the confirmation that Canada will go ahead with controversial ice sales to Mexico.

The undocumented, yet frozen, water will be delivered Friday in time for tourist season. The flow of visitors has diminished do to drug violence near the borders. It is hoped that serious efforts to improve the situation will end a message that everything is safe in Mexico.

If all goes according to plan the ice will be air-dropped to a remote mountain location next week. Residents in the landing zone have been warned to vacate the premises immediately. Transportation to safe havens has been arranged.

“After all of the bad press and animosity over immigration the last thing we want to do is run out of ice,” said a spokesperson for the travel industry in Guadalajara. “When the United States got weird and started the hesitate we called up Canada.”

Canada has more ice in reserve than any nation on earth including Russia. The arrival of an undisclosed amount of Mexican pesos could keep the Canadian lights on this winter. The legitimate sale is still pending in the Canadian parliament but is expected to pass easily on Monday.

There is still little word on what conflicts precipitated the arrangement. Mexico and the US have been buying and selling ice since the Mexican War in 1848.

Insiders say the neighbor to the south has become edgy when dealing with The Iceman across the Rio Grande. Rumors continue to fly regarding three new hockey rinks on the drawing board in Veracruz, Durango and Mexico City.

– Rocky Flats

“Dress suitably in short skirts and strong boots. Leave your jewels in the bank and buy a revolver.”
– Countess Markievicz, 20th Century Irish Revolutionary