Quayle, McDonald Connection Mere Coincidence?

McDonald Connection

(Montrose) The honorable Dan Quayle and his wife Marilyn attend a San Miguel County GOP $100-per-person fund raiser on August 28 then Ronald McDonald makes a surprise appearance in Montrose on August 2. Coincidence, or is there more to the unfolding story that lends further credence to a persistent rumor that Quayle and McDonald are the same person?

Quayle, who served as Vice President from with George H Bush from 1989-1993, shared in the Republican defeat by the Clintons in 1992. It was at that time that insiders began to wonder aloud if he was Ronald McDonald. After the lost election personal appearances by McDonald climbed 77% adding fuel to the nagging speculation.

Whispers have since suggested that clown makeup is all that separates the two. The simultaneous emergence of Quayle and McDonald in Western Colorado gives rebirth to these odd postulates which were discounted by significant others in both camps yesterday.

Both men graduated from Paradise Valley High  School in Arizona and it is common knowledge that both suffer from phlebitis. A red nose and wig reportedly discovered in Quayle’s carry-on at the Montrose Airport threatens to further steamroll the issue.

“We are holding off on any final summation until a DNA test can be arranged,” said one political watchdog. “Until that time we can only put two and two together and get one.”

Interested parties are instructed to present viable evidence in the case by October 15.

“Just ask yourself: When was the last time you saw Quayle and McDonald together at a political rally or restaurant opening?” asked one conspiracy enthusiast. “All these years Ronald has been an admired spokesman for the American culture worldwide. What if he was Dan Quayle the whole time? What would that do to our prestige in the world?” – Irm Peawit

caption under two photos with ID

One does not have to be hit repeatedly in the forehead with a ball-peen hammer to see the resemblance between former slippery VP Dan Quayle and grease clown Ronald McDonald.