Residents Warned on Second Hand News

(Ridgway, CO — Unreliable Sources on Parade — December  3, 2016)

Public health officials here have issued a warning as to the dangers of inhaling second hand news accounts.

It has long been believed that facts, secrets and rumors floating along earth’s atmospheric wall were harmless, but new tests show that physical and mental damage often occur from prolonged exposure to indirect information and whispers meant for others. Sometimes these experiences can be fatal at least in the sense of logic and good taste.

“Although logic and good taste have taken a backseat with recent political upheavals we can still use these parameters to determine personal freedoms as compared to verbal intrusions and primal screams,” said Arnolt Worde, a semantic technician and survivor of America’s public schools.

The health people recommend avoiding exposure to secondary news especially in unventilated areas such as saloons and town meetings.

– Sue Nammi