Opioid Epidemic Downplayed by Coalition General

(Kabul Green Zone — Chasing the Dragon — August 27, 2016)

General Worthington Bulbous, a man who has issued orders from the safety of the rear in more than seventeen battle theaters says the rise in heroin use in the United States has nothing to do with Afghanistan.

It can be argued that the lengthy military involvement in the world’s leading producer of poppies has allowed more of the drug to enter Western markets. Once in these countries it is processed en masse creating easy acquisition and consumption among younger persons.

“That’s balderdash!” says Bulbous. “Our security forces examine everything going in and out of the war zone. Just because there are occasional sums of money unaccounted for and weapons that we can’t quite tally doesn’t mean we’re running a colander operation as our critics maintain.”

Bulbous refuses to consider the easy access to the drug in Afghanistan and the easily manipulated established air and sea routes preferred by CIA personnel, top military brass and the diplomatic corps. None of these groups is subject to search coming or going.

“Our people are not drug smugglers,” he glared. “It’s probably the Taliban and their supporters in the United States. “There is absolutely no one engaged in the smuggling of opium or heroin into the United States from Afghanistan on my watch. You have my word on it.”

Bulbous refused to comment when asked about the CIA operation that brought heroin by the truckloads into Vietnam during the 70s as part of a deal with several powerful mountain tribes up around the Golden Triangle. According to sparse reports Air America flew heavy cargos of quality heroin into Vietnam and Laos in return for military compromises and manpower support on the part of growers.

This and most other clandestine operations have been repeatedly denied by a host of puppet governments in Asia and in Washington.

– Pepper Salte