Anarchists Overrun Antarctica

(Montevideo UR) A contingent of loosely knit anarchists have landed on the beaches in Wilkins Sound in an apparent attempt to reclaim the island continent from the penguins who have called the place home since before recorded history.

According to spy networks the anarchists hope to set up a utopian society there.

Our besieged bureau in Puerto Montt, Chile reports that at least 15 separate groups of debunkers, each with their own craft and dogma, arrived on the icy beaches within moments of each other. None had even a semblance of a uniform or even the same flag. All stood around in the surf ignoring any military precision exhibited by the others. Then, like a flock of songbirds without orders they moved toward the known inland penguin stronghold at the foot of Mt. Siple.

“We have no intention of disrupting penguin life here,” said one unidentified anarchist. We just want to be left alone by the rest of the world. If we cannot flourish here we are indeed doomed.”

Many controlled, though heated, disagreements emerged as to the proper course of action.  Chronic direction as to the exact location of the stronghold further disrupted the forward motion of the invaders. This confusion was highlighted by a loud disturbance when three anarchists fell hundreds of feet into a crevice created by ice and winds of at least 150 miles per hour. At least three one-person search parties met the same fate before the afternoon drew to a close.

By nightfall the entire landing party was forced to huddle together amid dwarf Orwellian pines to keep from freezing since no one had organized a firewood unit and no blankets were included in the haphazard survival list that was never completed.

Tomorrow any survivors plan to take the day off and return to the task at hand later in the week.

– Zorro DesPlants