WHAT I’VE FOUND OUT

There is virtually no mention of motorized travel in the Book of Genesis.

Stuffing a turkey and stuffing a ballot box are relatively simple once one gets the hang of it.

Having instant access to all that data on the Internet will not make you any smarter, especially with a lingering screen saver mentality.

In the recent Presidential campaign nobody catered to the Norwegian vote.

As far as predicting the severity of winter one might be far better measuring the amount of fur on the belly of a snowshoe rabbit as relying on the weather forecast on television.

There is a Burger King (cultural export) adjacent to several 16th Century buildings in central Guadalajara.

Cowboy Sundays last just a little bit longer than other ones.

Very few restaurants feature Canadian-American cuisine.

Ronald Reagan, Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Richard Nixon have been rather quiet for quite a while now, although their stunning legacies have been kept on extensive life support.

Uninformed voters who show up at the polls with pencil in hand invalidate the election. Why then do all of our peter pan patriots keep urging them to vote when they are dolts?

The money spent to combat whirling disease at the Roaring Judy Fish Hatchery comes out to just a little under ten dollars per fish.

The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle is to trap the sediments in the wine.

If one’s monthly liquor bill is higher than the GNP of a small Latin American country maybe he/she should find a new interests.

Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his father’s, President Garfield’s and President McKinley’s. After the last shooting he refused ever to attend a state function again.

One ostrich egg can make up to twelve omelets.

In ancient Greece it was illegal to project the winner of an election until all the votes were counted. An actual democracy existed there for about ten years. In the United States, where projection is the rule, we have never had a true democracy.

Pirates have a lot more fun than accountants.

If one watches carefully he can detect a slight smile on the pouch of a pelican after dinner, despite his repetitious diet of fish.