Zombie Banking Enjoys Day in the Sun

Zombie banking appears to be at its pinnacle after disclosures that some 1.4 billion dollars has been sent to the dead as part of an Coronavirus economic stimulus.

Whether surviving recipients of the misguided checks will have to pay back the money was not clear although Treasury Department sources insisted that recently reported numbers are askew and that only around 2 billion was forwarded in appropriately.

“We sent out billions and they are making a stink about a few humanitarian windfalls that went to the dear and departed,” cried one accountant who said he was out smoking a cigar when the final figures were tabulated.

Other payouts have reached those who are still alive for now but are taking few precautions in the face of a pandemic. Federal spokespeople would not comment when asked if the whole charade was dependent on a continued death chant.

“Our worse case scenario is that a countryman receives a check then drops dead before he can cash it,” said a top-level treasury official.

Critics of the mass payout say the government has no right to print hoards of money and distribute it in such a haphazard manner.

And some say voting by mail would lead to disaster.

– Small Mouth Bess